Why kids can’t hear us
Parents often ask the question;» Why the kids can’t hear us? » With the same problem encountered and my daughter, which now has two children. » Nastya, how many times, collect toys!», » Anastasia, with whom I
talking…» and the like, in the same spirit! Not so long ago I read an article about this and I want to share some tips psychologist.
Eye contact .
Kids are able to concentrate only on one task ( such as the construction of Dollhouse). it is therefore not surprising that the child, passionate about the game, you can’t hear. Because there, in a doll house, now real life, and here you are with your requests. Your irritation is simply meaningless – the child is not able to hear you.
So the first thing you should try to switch the attention of the crumbs for themselves. Touch him or take the hand. Sit on your heels and look him in the eye. Refer to him by name;» Nastya, look at me. » or » Sasha, listen what I say «, etc. Children over three years old ask her to repeat what he had heard. Much more interesting to perform the task given by himself.
» take your boots Off, my hands and eat! «- it would seem quite simple, but for a child 3 to 4 years is a difficult task. How to remember everything and miss nothing.
So break this complex problem into simple. You need to give the child only a short task, for example: » take Off your boots.» And only when he does, proceed to the next.
» Are you this nice to walk around in a wet shirt? «, » aren’t You tired of sitting in this mess? ». According to the psychologist, the kids understand everything literally, and it is difficult to guess what his question, the mother leads them to a specific action.
Post your requests so that the child can understand them the way you want.
» Field, how many times do I have to say, don’t jump on the bed. You already forgot how broke his nose, when he fell with her, I want to fall again? ». well and etc. of Course parents want to protect children from dangerous games, but the child is not able to listen to your long speech, he only confused in words, and just forget about what you said.
Therefore, don’t remember him » last» sins and do not frighten future trouble. Your child lives in the present. therefore pointless to try to influence him long explanations. Better tell him( her) :» Jumping on the bed is impossible, it’s dangerous.» Then, to try to divert the attention of the baby. Can compete to offer grounds for jumping on the carpet. In short, it is necessary to direct energy, which overwhelms the baby in a safer direction. When you cannot change the child’s behavior, you need to change the circumstances provoking dangerous actions.
Tell me, what do you feel if an important person to you, tells you of an error in an elevated tone? Felt like » dumb» in the eyes? The same thing happens with the baby. Scream pojavlaetsa anxiety and fear. Fear lowers cognitive abilities. When the child asks for forgiveness and says that he’s all clear, it is not. He didn’t hear you, the most important thing for him at this moment was — the prevention of punishment.
Restrain Swee emotion. If you are consistent, the child will understand that you will not be able to elicit the evening sitting in front of a computer and then please be off the game will not be ignored.
The time for execution .
American teachers value by trial and error found that children perceive said delayed as the attention is formed only 6 – 7 years ( that is, they cannot immediately get away from interesting in favor of necessary).
Therefore it is necessary to give the baby time to spare, so he could away from the game. Well, for example, you can try to negotiate with him, many times he can go on the slide before you go home.
«don’t shout! ». » don’t run through a puddle!» kids, missing the particle «». Ban parents perceived a tempting offer.
Need interesting alternative. For example:» let’s try to say quietly in secret, to hear only you and I!» or » Let’s have a competition, who will pass a puddle on the edge and never take on water!», and so on.