What psychology says about the relationship between children and parents
In psychology, there is such a cornerstone, this symbol of faith, if you will. It can be expressed in one popular phrase: “we All come from childhood”. So. Parents and children, psychology of relationships of children and parents.
What does it mean this expression: “we All come from childhood” It means that the psychology of all areas and schools believes that childhood is the most important time, when the personality is formed. With all its inclinations, and (unfortunately) with all its neuroses and problems of an adult.
Parents are the adults, which is exhausted for the little man the whole universe, a model of the universe. In the early years the child is isolated from most of the experience, however, most of the experience of being he develops on this “model”.
And here’s enforced isolation takes the child for years. As You can probably guess that in early childhood one year is a lifetime. So imagine that years to five to seven a child lives in a special universe where the gods and the most intelligent and fair creatures are his parents. And more around the little man is nothing.
So if a child grows up with the belief “This world is unfair”, then you need to contact him early OPITO parents may have been unfair to this man when he was a child. The situation is common, so widespread idea tired adults that “All the world is a swamp. “.
It is not surprising that the rest of life is often merely an accurate plaster cast of the “mold”, which asked the child.
As parents (and nobody else) are responsible for the fact that we often find ourselves unhappy, “rested” and just not very smart in short, the society started a movement for the restriction of parental authority over children. Began to hear voices saying that such a serious thing as education, should be handled by professionals, not frivolous, narrow-minded and selfish people who were lucky enough to see two strips on the test in one (does for them is not beautiful!) day.
However, the experiment almost failed. It turned out that their parents (no matter how far from perfect they were!) be for the little man somehow still is the most useful and desirable companions of his life. Even if they are drinkers and hysterical, even if they are uneducated or don’t know how to love someone besides yourself. Yes, Yes, Yes.
This is the highest wisdom of nature and its Creator, and we are not supposed to pry with a screwdriver to this mysterious mechanism.
And that’s when the case took psychology. Psychology of relationships of children and parents.
(Incidentally, this is exactly the psychology of the relationship of children and parents proved to the public that (almost!) any parents for a child under a certain age – better than the professionals from education.)
So it became clear that the relationship between parents and children – not to cancel the decree of the government. But we can and must do is to absorb, make more comfortable for both parties, enhancing the overall literacy of the population in the field of psychology and its fundamental laws.
As for the psychology of relationships of children and parents is no secret that the “bad” parents are also former. children who have suffered in their time from the same “bad parenting”. And now they pass on their pain (and not learned their lessons, half with unresolved problems) to the new generation, their descendants.
Our task is not vindictive and gloating to take away their children in the care of the state, and to help those parents become happy, harmonious and healthy in a psychological sense. Then, recovered and realizing something about themselves and their own ancestors, they can become good parents to their children.
So, the pain “carefully” passed down from generation to generation is always the same. First, it forms the “parent script” in the relationship between only two generations.
That is, from parents to children is passed to the “parent script”.
And when we trace a similar pattern in life are already three to five generations, such “referred pain” called “parent script” and “the curse of the genus”. This term, friends, extensive use of the real psychology (Yes!), and not some “fortune tellers in a turban”. Of course, psychology uses this term in a somewhat metaphorical sense, but it doesn’t change anything.
To “cure” problems in the relationship of children and parents that are passed on to You already in the fifth generation, there are the following psychological methods.
Methods of psychology the relationship of children and parents:
geosatsignal by the method of French psychotherapist Anne Ancelin Schutzenberger;
systemic family constellation method of Bert Hellinger;
psychodrama method Moreno.
Article “Our common dream (Jungian studies)”, which tells about what a Group unconscious, how it differs from the Collective unconscious, and why without it there can be a session of psychodrama. The article contains a description of the exercise, which helps to configure group unconscious to work in the psychological group.
Article ‘Training ’s Who we have here. ” will help with games to improve relationship between parents and children.
The article “Game “mafia” for children” will be indispensable for those parents who want to try their hand at home “psychodrama” and at the same time to take something a large group of children for their psychological health and their mind.
But let us leave aside psychodrama.
Psychology of relationships of children and parents is not limited to one psychodrama.
Open article “Young children exhibit aggression. ” You know what he thinks psychology is about kids. Who lifts his fists on his mother and why in any case should not be afraid.
In article «Children-Parents. The ABCs of emotional relationships” You will read about the great snatch of the language of emotions and learn to understand deeply hidden feelings (and your child) with me.
After reading the article “the 4 basic skills of the person or “What is worth teaching your child?” You know what he thinks science (including academic psychology) about basic life skills that every parent in the nature is obliged to learn their baby. And even You know that these are skills that help us to survive, they were practically trained people in schools.
Serious errors in upbringing, mistakes that would later form the character of a neurotic, written a series of articles on our website.
Mistakes in the relationship of children and parents
The article “the Dragon of arrogance” will tell about the dangers of comparison and evaluation of their child with other children in early education.
The article “the Dragon of destruction” will tell about the dangers presented for their child to certain overstated claims (makeovers on the principle of “But we will be the best”),
Article “Dragon stubbornness” will tell about the dangers of ignoring the views of the child at the time of making any decisions (even such decisions as what shirt to wear yellow or red)
More about solving problems in the relations between children and parents
After reading the article “People.” You will learn about what modern psychology thinks about the problem as “hysterical child” and how to deal with it.
In General, the psychology of the relationship of children and parents is such a vast field that even on our modest website that paid the lion’s share of space. So, welcome to the section “Children”. There You will find ALL the articles on psychology, on the relationship of children and parents, psychological and educational games-exercises, discussions of educational methods, as included. And is not included in this overview.