Teach a child to order
“Our son is 4 years old. It pleases us because growing smart and healthy child. And all would have been perfect, if not one “but”. This problem is becoming a tradition, and we are afraid that it will not be able to fix it. It begins with the fact that I or the husband ask Mitya put away your toys. Obedient and cute baby immediately turns into a blubbering capricious. He hides away from us and categorically does not agree to restore order in the room. No amount of persuasion’t help – the child continues to cry or take away toys.
Of course, after this “view” that the mood is spoiled the whole family. The feeling that my husband – two tyrants, forcing the child to work the mines and of course, feel very badly, forcing his son to do what he wants. But other than that, we worry that Mitya not learn to watch your belongings and keep them in order. And though we always talk with his son about responsibility for their belongings, but despite this, almost every evening we are confronted with the same pattern: the child in tears, and the toys scattered throughout the room. Even when dad threatened to throw all the toys, if the son don’t take them – it still does not help and clean up in the bathroom I.
How to teach your child? What the child has learnt to clean their things in place? And without raising your voice to explain to the child the importance of the order?”
Answers the question of child psychotherapist, family counselor Madeleine, Sanuk:
To teach a child need to order, starting around the year. Not only to order but also help adult. For example, he might bring parents an Apple or file a napkin, if the parents ask. Also the child can remove the toy into place once enough of her. To teach the child by simply not allowing him to take another toy until he is removed first.
So, if your child is first flipped through the book, and then reaching for the paints, the mother needs to tell him that he will be able to draw only after the book back on the shelf. The Teddy bear he will get when with my mother wash my brush and put the paint in place. Well and so on.
Naturally, over time, the child is required to play not just one book or toy. He wants to read the doll book or to ride it on a typewriter or to arrange a tea party with other toys. That is, you can’t give him a toy under the condition that the previous lies. Then you can advance to clarify how much the child needs toys for his game and he needs to give, leaving the rest in place.
The child grows up
As children get older, become more complicated, not only of his game. Harder to get the child to obey and to clean up after themselves. This occurs for two reasons: the child examines your influence on him; the child has no idea how to restore order and is afraid to do something wrong.
The first problem can be overcome: control yourself, do not cry, but quietly, tonelessly insist on doing your request. If the child does not listen – fall back, but do not perform any of his requests, as it does not fulfill yours . For example, don’t give him candy or don’t turn on cartoons until he put the toy on the ground. Offer him some help cleaning up, but don’t do his work independently.
The second reason is also easy to understand and to overcome. The cause of the fear, you know it yourself, remember how after a noisy feast on you rests the responsibility of clean up, wash all the dishes and so on. Usually in this situation you lose heart – you don’t know which way to go and I think never will bring order after the holiday. About the way the child is feeling, being alone with a mountain of toys that need to be in the right place.
In this situation, your help is very necessary. Become its head during cleaning. Say, in any box to put the Teddy bear in what ’ s balls and cubes. In the first place. so the child will know what to do, and secondly. will learn to distinguish colors and shapes, sort and count them. Very important in this business is your interest. The child will understand that this activity bores you, and so will not be interested in cleaning. If you with a smile, start cleaning – he too will get pleasure from this joint training. If the child is unwell, your help can be transformed from a simple guide to a more fruitful. Quietly put away the toys so that the child was still in the middle of it.
As for the threats of the Pope to take the child all the toys, is to say one Golden rule: never throw words to the wind when the child . If your son does not want to remove their belongings after your requests, tell him that if things will not be in their position, you’ll take them and hide for two days. If the child is not scared of this promise, calmly collect the toys and hide them for exactly two days – no more, no less. Then the child will know what is responsible for your things and may lose them if not going to watch over them. Moreover, he will know that you keep your word and can punish him if he will not listen.
If he’s going to protest and to demand the return of their belongings, in a calm voice explain to him that the toys will be back in two days, but if he will not remove the toys and on, they may disappear again for two days. Try not to succumb to tears and screams. If you punish your child, don’t change your decision, otherwise it will assume that any offense will get away with it. Be sure to check that the toys should now be removed immediately after the game.
Can not hide the toys, and put them in the closet, which is conventionally you will call a “penalty”. Clearly explain to your child that in some time all toys should be removed. If not, put all the toys in the “free” Cabinet. Don’t forget that your child may get lost and forget about the time, so in advance to remind the child that will soon need to finish the game and restore order.
Also for a child is very important praise . If you will only blame him for his scattered toys, and will no praise for yourself put in order – you will never teach him to clean up after themselves. Encourage him for every voluntary manifestation of self, so the training procedure will be much easier.