How to love a difficult teenager
Parenting teenagers is not an easy task. After all, most of the time they are influenced by other people: teachers, friends and acquaintances, just their peers. Many parents feel that you can no longer control their child’s behavior, to influence him. As a consequence of lack of understanding, conflicts, problems…
But often the reason is parental lack of preparation, lack of understanding of the characteristics of adolescence, and that negates all educational efforts. However, the majority of adolescent problems may be partially or fully resolved, will disappear if the tension in the relations between children and parents.
Undoubtedly, most parents really love their children. And that’s fine, because the need for love is one of the basic human needs. Its satisfaction is a necessary condition for the normal development of the child.
Adolescents are still children who are on the path to adulthood. And their needs is the needs of children. And they also (and maybe more) need to know that they are loved and accepted for who they are, what they are cared for, that someone cares. And although the majority of the time the teenager is under the influence of other people, it is the family can create for teenager atmosphere of spiritual comfort and help to feel safe, self-confidence. If the adolescent, there is no conclusive evidence of this love, he ceases to strive to be better and as a result is unable to reveal its best qualities. It is the awareness of its value, importance, “ljubimomi” helps him psychologically to develop.
The basis of durable relationship with a child is unconditional love . do not depend on the qualities and characteristics of the child. Only this love is able to prevent the development of adolescent defensiveness, to protect from feelings of uselessness and inferiority. If there is no unconditional love, children become a burden, they disturb and irritate.
This does not mean that we should always love their behavior. You can Express displeasure at the actions of the child but not the child in General. Dissatisfaction with the actions of the child should be systematic, otherwise it will grow into aversion. If we love the teenager, only when he lives up to our expectations and meet our requirements, it will feel like a loser. He is confident of the futility of any efforts to be good because they will never be enough.
The need for love is met, when we inform the child that he is dear to us, necessary, important, that he’s just good. These messages are kept in the friendly glances, tender touches, various tokens, words of support and encouragement.
Unfortunately, we live in a time when very much has an impact on our teenagers, and many of these influences devastating and even fatal. The teenager needs to feel our love in deeds, in actions and behavior. Only then he will have the ability to soberly assess yourself and be accountable for their behavior.
Parents can return the world to a family, to build relationships, to take a step forward. Because adults have more knowledge, more ability to control himself, more life experience…