Difficulties in parenting
I can remember the feeling when the test showed 2 cherished stripes: waiting girls I’ve lived my whole pregnancy. Even when the results of the ultrasound confirmed that it will be a boy, I still continued to hope for a girl. Girl, I dreamed of since high school. I’m all about it namatala – appearance, character, smile. I knew how I’d behave, how we spend time, to talk. And here boy! Maksim Sergeevich.
Our first year was not particularly revealing in terms of the education of his son. Maxim wears undershirts and sliders for my cousins. We rang bells and collected pyramids, rolled the balls, folded cubes. In General, doing what I love to do little kids, regardless of gender.
But with 1.5 years in the Maksimkina the area began to appear more and more “masculine” toys – screwdrivers, nuts, hammers, clippers, shovels, swords, tanks, helicopters. And when his grandmother gave him his first Maxim gun in our family began a new era.
Maxim appreciated gift! For a short time his army armament has grown to 2 swords, a huge machine and countless pistols and pistols. Maxim couldn’t say the word “give”, but the word “gun” spoke clearly! Grandma pulled out of mothballs dad’s box iron toy soldiers, and nostalgic Serge the whole evening was setting them to max on the table, brought division and attacked their tank.
But Maxim in the toy Kingdom is also an iron, and a set of doll dishes, doll with crib. When walking Max ride someone else’s toy stroller, he immediately wanted the same. However, our principal dad got him on the truck for sand. The principle of operation of the same toy, only this toy for the boy. Serezha is in General very sensitive to the choice of toys, clearly separating – what’s for boys and what is for girls.
What do you think, should parents tell children what to play with the boys, and what not?
[ pagebreak ] “do Not make the son of the girl!”
My article on joint activity with the child caused quite a heated discussion.
From more than fifty comments a considerable part was that I’m raising a Mama’s boy. Supposedly, the boy must help her mother in the kitchen, but to be worn in the yard with a ball and playing with cars. I even advised “not to ruin the life of his son cooking and cleaning, not to raise a boy as a girl”. And the expression “sissy” already sounded like a diagnosis Maxim.
And I thought – maybe I am wrong? Can really are there any areas of life where the entrance to the boys banned? Maybe we shouldn’t with max, doing dishes and bake cookies? And I decided to find out what they think about psychologists.
Having studied several books and manuals, I identified myself to the main point:
1. For the full development of boys need more space and movement: they have 30% more muscle mass than girls. So to climb, jump, run and go mad for them – normal conditions.
2. Boys are more painful than girls.
3. Boys likewise need affection and proofs of love, and girls. So don’t be afraid caresses and kisses to spoil my young son!
4. Boys psychologists recommend to give “male” toys – cars, toolboxes, etc. But it is absolutely fine if the boy wants to play with dolls and treat them in the doll dishes – don’t interfere with it and to laugh about it.
5. All psychologists agree that the most important thing for the boys is the father’s example. Father and son can cook together gifts mom, to restore order, when she is resting, prepare the dinner. If dad is busy during the week, arrange a “daddy’s day” – Saturday or Sunday, which is father and son spend together.
So I’m doing everything right! I’ve always been against the strict separation of work around the house to “male” and “female”. This seems unfair, if a wife is part of daily cooking and cleaning. And my husband once a month brings meat from the market and washes up on a shelf.
My husband washes the dishes and floors and is no less courageous and strong. And I will be happy if my son will grow up without prejudice and that the kitchen is exclusively for women. For good reason, the best chefs are men!
[ pagebreak ] And according to moms of girls?
Tatyana, 35 years; daughters: Cooking, 4 years, Melania 11 months :
“When Cooking was born, no special ideas on the education of girls my husband was not. We converged on the idea that, first of all, we need to give the basic skills that are necessary to every person, regardless of gender: politeness, cleanliness, independence, courage. Did the boy not have to be accurate and responsive, and the girl to be able to fight back?
Not pushing our daughter at some point, I began to play the princesses, dolls, and happy to Tinker with my mother in the kitchen. However, she plays with cars, and moves with a screwdriver and hammer, but not as often. What is more important in the education of girls? Probably the same as that for the boy’s education is a personal example. The girl is compared to her mother, the boy with my dad. This means that mom needs to look at themselves and think: do I want my daughter to be my exact copy? That me in me completely satisfied, and what I would love refused? As relates to me is my husband and how I treat it – whether that is a sample of the relations of men and women who have to adopt my child?
The only thing we pure “girly” are matters of personal hygiene. It is the prerogative of mothers”
What made our boys?
Recently Maxim unexpectedly appeared before us a perfect Tomboy: skinned elbows, knees knocked, slovenly face, dirty shorts from the first minute of walking, their pockets full of stones and sticks, and cars, cars, cars.
If in winter the phrase “mom, Citan!” I heard from morning till evening, with the onset of warm days books abandoned and forgotten. And during the short time that we spend at home is catch – up, race cars, hockey, football, the fortress of cubes, squadrons of airplanes on the floor.
And on the street for max Supreme bliss, if it is accepted into his gang of 8-10-year-old boy, climbing on bushes with sticks, swords and pistols. He is, without fear or doubt, crashes through any bushes, not noticing the thorns, and I obediently follow him. Now it all seems to me infinitely sweet and touching.
However my older sister (mother of 5 sons and 7 years old) warns that very soon my passion pougasnet, when the time of transformers robots, designers Megabloks and LEGO Bionicle.
I couldn’t be able to make my humanitarian nature! But, fortunately, it’s all her husband promised to take.