Conflicts between parents and children
From birth, parents protect us, care about health, nutrition and overall development. The years fly imperceptibly, day by day we are becoming more independent. Rarely need the help and support of parents. And now, there are often conflicts. So, how to behave, to communicate with parents?!
“Mom, dad”, says for the first time in my life babe and after seeing illumined by the smile of the parent entity, realizes how much joy he brings to parents and how much they love him. Yes, indeed, like a lot of sense, feelings and emotions inherent in these words! Parents are the most close and native people we will always love and who will love us regardless of time and circumstances.
From birth, parents protect us, care about health, nutrition and overall development, create all conditions for their beloved child. If the child is sad or bored, if someone is hurt, or he fell and hurt him, the first thing to come to the aid of parents who will comfort and soothe baby.
Conflicts in communicating with parents
But as the years go unnoticed. The kid went into the garden, then to school, with each day becoming more Mature and more independent. And most importantly, imperceptibly began to move away from their parents and no longer shares all their secrets and problems, rarely asks for help and advice. Yes, the kid turned into a teenager, with problems of personality, the importance of his opinions, with a burning desire to stand out among their peers no matter what. This age period is one of the most difficult for understanding parent and child. The person in adolescence seems that he is quite independent and support moms and dads are not so important, although in reality it is not so simple. Parents still protect the child both physically and emotionally, provide financially, solve most of its problems and take an active part in the further development of the child. Therefore, they have the right to demand from the son or daughter of a certain benefit in terms of good behavior (good grades in school, no bad habits. respect, execution of some instructions). But sometimes parents tend to put an overly rigid framework. In such cases, conflicts arise. So, how to behave, so that communication with parents is not turned into a solid statement of accusations and morals?
Respect for parents is an integral part of relationships, without which you will not move from a dead point. Respect any decision of the parents, even if they seem unfair. Of course, this does not mean that it should execute it immediately. You can and should Express their opinion. But the utterance of discontent parental decision advise readers Mirsovetov always start with the words: “I respect your decision, but I would like to say that…”. And, believe me, your chances to be heard will increase several times.
Admitting your own mistakes. We all learn from our mistakes. But sometimes it’s so hard to recognize them. If you want to prove to parents that you really are an adult and responsible person, do not be afraid to admit their mistakes.
Openness and sociability. Try to communicate with parents as much as possible. Tell them about their friends, Hobbies, future plans, about love, in General, everything that you wonder what you’re living in the moment. The more information your parents have, the more confidence in you, and as a consequence will decrease the number of constraints like “don’t go”, “not do it”, “don’t talk”, “please be there at 20.00”.
Courtesy and tact. “Politeness begets politeness and causes”. Therefore, even from an early age children are told the need of polite communication with loved ones and with strangers. But sometimes they forget the basics of communication. And this, in turn, is becoming a serious problem in relations with parents. Even if you think parents are wrong about something, and you really want them to prove it, start with phrases: “I would like to explain you my point of view” or “I Have a different opinion, and I would love it if you listened to it” etc. But always speak with appropriate intonation, without raising her voice and waving her arms. In this case, your words will be heard and taken into account.
The exchange of roles. In a conflict situation, try to mentally switch places with parents. And then maybe the parents will become clearer. And this will be the first stepping stone to the settlement agreement. Invite your fathers and mothers “to take your place”, because they were young too and has already passed all these difficulties in life. With just one step on each side towards each other, you will be able to negotiate.
Patience is a quality that must constantly be learning. Learn not to respond to hurtful words and expressions in the address, not to comment on the actions and mistakes of others. Nobody says it’s easy but for the sake of good relations with parents and can make some effort on yourself.
Bypassing adolescence, the person goes to the next age category. Now he can make decisions, can partly support themselves financially, which means that it requires more discretion and parental guidance and “morality” will only cause irritation and discontent. But, you see, because often parents claim is justified! We are all imperfect and make mistakes, and parents only draw attention to them. Often already conscious adults still dependent financially, physically or emotionally, parents have to constantly babysit “the child”, in parallel, limiting its freedom of action and expressing in its permanent address comments and advice. So if you really want to avoid conflicts with parents, we try to be independent. Learn to earn on their own needs, solve problems without the involvement of parents, act like an adult sane person, rate shaping life situations and problems.
And, of course, in any case can not forget about already listed the rules of communication with parents. First of all, respect to parents. This rule should be the main throughout life.
Over time, the children stand up and decide to live separately from their parents. As experience shows, in most cases, with the emergence of a separate housing child further removed from mom and dad. He has his own family, personal and household issues in which parents are often unnecessary. It genuinely surprises and offends parents, causes the misunderstanding that accumulate over the years, affects the relationship between parents and children. But because no one wants to be in a constant quarrel, listening to the accusations and discontent, while pouring oil on the fire, its own claims. How to avoid this?
You never want to completely move away from those closest to you. Come to visit every weekend, call at least once a day, ask their health problems and needs, tell them something about their lives. After all, parents spend on their child so much time and energy, I want to be closer to him, to receive from him the attention he needs to be. Remember all the rules of communication with parents, use them daily and over time your relationship will stabilize.
And most importantly do not forget that whatever relationship with the parents you have not evolved, remember that the closer these people in your life no one. Go to them to make concessions, be softer and tactfully, calmly explain your dissatisfaction in some issue, and your family will recover peace and prosperity.