Child psychology


Question: Hello! What if the child does not hear the remarks, uttered in a calm tone? And so until then, until the yells and jumps up to it?

Comments, of course, have to make a bunch — this, too, is unclear. After all the comments due to the fact that he pesters year-old sister, takes toys, provokes her improper behavior, such as, for example, to go into a dangerous place or to do what is impossible, pats her on the head — and so all the time they are awake and as soon as mom should take up cooking or your business.

Mother with children at home all day. Deal with them, draw, play, show cartoons. Night with them for an hour playing dad. So not to say that little attention to them.

But as soon as wakes up sister, son (4 years) how honey ugliness attracts! Similarly, in the store, and the people — does not want to hear, requires, vrednichaet and lifts up her sister, although kind and gentle . How to teach him to hear without shouting and considered with your sister and parents?

Hello. Indeed, in many families where there are two or more children with a small age difference, parents are often faced with similar difficulties. Senior bully younger or Vice versa. Children quarrel, jealous, compete with each other. To keep peace between the two (or more) small children is really difficult.

When the family has a second child, first have a hard time. His world is rapidly changing – it is no longer the one and only. A large part of parental attention is now given to the baby (at least at first).

In addition, the appearance of a small child imposes on older new restrictions:

do not scream,

not to make any noise,

wait until mom is released,

not to touch the younger,

be careful with it and so on.

A young child is difficult to realize and accept the change occurred. He is insulting, it is not clear, perhaps lonely or scared. Hence, as a rule, and there are difficulties in behavior or hostility to the appearance of the brother or sister. Although this often hostile or unwanted conduct, addressed to parents.

From your story it seems that your son is their sister is trying to get your attention, demands your reaction to yourself and your behavior.

What can help:

1. Show your son the importance of his care for you.

At the age of 3-4 years the child begins to feel the separateness and independence from the mother, becomes more independent. Typically, children at this age seek any duty and ready to bear that responsibility. Help baby and caring for it can be just like important Affairs.

Ask your son to help you assemble a sister for a walk. Show him how he can put on her hat, mittens or tie a scarf. Try together to feed her, let him help her to keep a bottle or Cup. Maybe he could calm her down some cunning way, if she was crying. And be sure to tell him how nice his help, how gently and carefully he helps sister.

As a rule, children are very proud when I can help my mother.

2. Child it is important to have personal space and their personal belongings.

Personal belongings are part of the feelings a child of his personality, and if his brothers or sisters ever take or spoil these things are very upsetting.

You can together with your son to determine what toys will be personally which sestrenkiny and what common. And then to give or not to give him his toy sister must decide for himself. Even if she really wants to play it.

And if he won’t give up the toy, it is important to take his decision:

— You wanted to play with Petya’s machine, but it seems that he now wants to give her, maybe he was afraid that she might break. Look, we have this machine, you can play with it.

And the same with toys daughter. Respectively common toys they can play whenever they want without asking each other’s permission.

3. Highlight a special time of fellowship with each child.

Older it is especially important to know that there is a time that each parent spends with him.

For example, while walking, if my daughter is asleep, you could talk to his son about what is interesting and important to him. And in the evening or on weekends when at home dad, and he can play in something with my daughter, you can take care of your son what he likes.

4. Highlight traits or behaviors characteristic of each of your children (you like them) and encourage them.

For example:

— You’re so handy with you in the household is not lost! And Masha have any company can cheer, it just will not be bored!.

— I love the way you paint, the exhibition can be opened and guests to call! And Masha ask to dance something. Better than it is, we have no one dances!

It would be great if they will develop their skills in different areas, then instead of envy between them appears a respect for the achievements of each other.

So, let’s try to understand why your son yells, exasperated sister, takes toys, vrednichaet.

Typically, screaming and bad behavior, children are trying to tell an adult about any troubles and experience. So they actually scream – to be heard.

In my opinion, it is important to understand why (why?) your son behaves. At that moment he was concerned?

Maybe he does need your attention and participation in an important situation for him. Or he defends their space or personal belongings (e.g., does not want to give my sister her toys). Maybe he wants to assert their adulthood and opportunities to teach something sister (for example, shows her how to get into a dangerous place).

It is important to understand that your son is experiencing at the moment when it “pulls on ugliness” and talk to him about it. For example:

— You put a sister on the sofa. You wanted to sit on the couch alone? I understand you.

— You’re not giving her sister a toy. Afraid that she would break her?

Next, you can offer any compromise and negotiate with both, but it is very important that your children feel that their feelings are heard and understood you.

— You helped my sister to climb so high. You wanted to teach her how to climb, how you can do it! But, after all, it is still small and it is dangerous for her. She is not as clever as you, and may fall. But you can teach her to climb on anything lower. Try it!

No matter how behaved your son he needs to feel that you understand and accept it.

Remember that changes don’t happen quickly, and you have to stock up a fair amount of patience. But I’m sure You will succeed!

Good luck to you!

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